Mother’s Day can be complicated—especially if you’re still waiting to become a parent.
For those on a fertility journey, or those carrying deep longing for the baby they don’t yet have, this day can feel invisible, isolating, and painfully loud. You’re not alone. If Mother’s Day doesn’t seem to include you, this is for you.
Let’s be honest.
Some people wake up on Mother’s Day feeling excited to celebrate.
And then there are the rest of us.
Those of us who are still waiting for the baby we dream of.
Those of us who expected to be in a different place by now.
Those of us whose arms are still empty, even when our hearts are full of love.
If that’s where you are today, please hear this:
You do not have to pretend this day doesn’t hurt.
You don’t have to explain why it does.
And you don’t have to celebrate something that hasn’t been acknowledged for you—yet.
Mother’s Day might not see you. But we do.
When You Don’t Have the Baby You Dream About
Maybe you thought you’d be holding your baby by now.
Maybe you imagined announcing a pregnancy, decorating a nursery, or finally being called “Mom.”
And instead—you’re still waiting.
Still hoping.
Still holding space in your life and heart for someone who isn’t here yet.
That absence is real. That longing is real. It deserves to be named, honored, and felt.
A year can change everything.
Truly. I’ve seen it, and I’ve lived it. A year can bring answers. New paths. Renewed strength. Unexpected joy. And yes, sometimes even the baby you’ve been longing for.
Today might feel heavy, but it’s not the end of your story.
You are still becoming. And this chapter isn’t your whole book.
Real-World Self-Care for Mother’s Day When It Hurts
You don’t need to meditate for 45 minutes or turn off your feelings to practice self-care. Some days, survival is self-care. Here are real, doable ways to get through a day that can feel like too much.
These aren’t “fixes”—they’re gentle tools to hold you through.
Stay Home. Make It a Mini Staycation
Your home can become a soft landing spot. Wear the sweatshirt that always makes you feel like yourself. Create comfort however you need it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for making this day what you need it to be.
Light a candle. Read a book that doesn’t ask too much of you. Watch a show you’ve already seen five times. This isn’t escapism—it’s preservation. It’s letting your nervous system rest.
Skip the Restaurants
Restaurants on Mother’s Day are filled with flowers, families, and “Happy Mother’s Day” greetings. It’s okay to opt out.
Choose what feels good: a solo walk, breakfast at home, something quiet and nourishing. This day doesn’t need to be performative. It can be protective.
Let Nature Hold You
Step outside. Stand barefoot in the grass. Sit under a tree. Breathe.
Nature doesn’t rush. Nothing blooms all year. Let that land: Your timeline is not broken. You’re still growing—even if no one else can see it yet.
Gentle Movement: Your Body Is Not Your Enemy
This one matters. It’s easy to feel like your body has let you down. The grief. The waiting. The exhaustion.
But your body is still on your side.
It’s not the enemy. It’s your home. It’s your witness.
It’s the space where hope lives, even when it feels hidden.
So today, maybe:
- Lie down with one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
- Breathe. Slowly.
- Let your body feel seen, not judged.
If you’re carrying self-blame or wondering if this is somehow your fault, please read this: Is Infertility Your Fault?
Step Away from Social Media
Social media on Mother’s Day can be a minefield. You don’t need to scroll through other people’s milestones while carrying your own pain.
Mute. Unfollow. Log off. This is not avoidance—it’s self-protection. You can come back tomorrow.
Write to the Baby You Dream Of
Put it down on paper. Write the letter. Say what’s in your heart. Let your love take form, even if only in ink.
This is mothering, too.
Another compassionate and affirming read: Mother’s Day Letter to My Infertility Sisters by Andrea Syrtash.
Connect With “Your Person”
Reach out to the friend who just gets it. No fixing. No advice. Just presence.
Even five minutes of feeling understood can shift something in your day.
Feel It Through Music or Movies
What makes you cry in a good way? What makes you laugh when nothing else does?
Let music or movies carry some of what you’re holding. You don’t have to carry all of it alone.
Say No Without Explaining
Say no to invitations, group texts, expectations. You don’t owe anyone a performance.
“No” is a complete sentence. Use it when you need it.
One Day. Not Forever.
Today may be hard. That’s okay. You’re allowed to feel what you feel. You’re allowed to rest.
This is just one day. This is not your forever.
It’s not a verdict. It’s not proof that your dream won’t come true.
A lot can happen in a year. More than you can see from where you’re standing.
So take care of yourself today. Speak gently to yourself.
You are not alone. Not even a little bit.
And if you’re looking for another voice that speaks to this space with tenderness and truth, read: “This Is Your Day Too” by Kate Weldon LeBlanc.
